Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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