I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize