You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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