We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
