He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
