if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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