I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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