she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize