How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
