i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
