I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she told me i tasted like america
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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