I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
