When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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