Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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