Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize