all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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