ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
