It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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