I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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