The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize