Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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