Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
