In the future we'll all be gay
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
