Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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