mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
