lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
