Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
