either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
