This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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