if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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