im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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