everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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