I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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