I just cut my nipple shaving
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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