I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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