i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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