He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
