My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
