I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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