but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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