Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
