so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
