then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
