What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize