she was so not down for the gang bang
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
