i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
