I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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