I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
