i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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