I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Actions speak louder than pants.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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