is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
