Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
