FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
