So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize