I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
