Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
and she was petting her beer can
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
