we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
