wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
