I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
