My friends, they love my intelligence
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
