3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
