you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
