just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
