1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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