i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
