This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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