So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
