they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
