Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
All the doctor said was why
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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