Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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