Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize